As the big wheel turned and the millennium arrived in 2000, I found myself living in Frederiksberg, Copenhagen, Denmark, washed ashore battered and jaded from the struggles of unionism against the tide of Thatcherism’s market free for all, the cold and ‘hollow competition’… ‘Had a bit of a nervous break-dance and…Well anyway I was a refugee among the Danes; I’ll spare you the gruesome boredom of the details…

The third Saturday I was there, in the corner of the square that shared the large communal back gardens of Svanholmes vej all the immediate neighbours came out and got together and caught up, painted fences, weeded gardens and took care of each other and the area, those who were busy, shy or disinclined put more toward the beer and pizza, I learned it wasn’t a law but a tradition and for me an Englishman it was a revelation..and frankly an alien experience..and absolutely fucking wonderful..How did they do it every month? why? It relieved local services and caused a reduction in the rates! I pondered long on it as I sipped from the bottle and munched on fine local pizza..

They had a sense of community and togetherness a feeling of extended family connection we simply lost before I was born and only vaguely experienced in village life in the sixties..They knew each other better and liked each other more! I felt like I’d arrived on another planet and penny lane was being piped from the sky…my grin hurt.

Where was the envy and rivalry? The hollow competition?

It’s laughably simple of course when you examine it, they don’t have ‘Toffs’ they don’t have hoards of millionaires, the entitled…and the vast majority live so well, so gracefully and stylishly as a result..Generally speaking and of course there are a few exceptions but they are few and anomalous…Their culture is not soviet Russia they are not ‘trots’ they are a dynamic upbeat innovative society with fantastic health and public services and they party and love like Celts..

They have not been infected by the greed of the upper crust into the dog eat dog shit show Albion has become…they simply haven’t…and the Mail and Sun and the like, those brown tongues of the ruler set, don’t want you to hear about it they want you to regard the world in the knee jerk reactionary black n white that serves them..The Scandinavians see us as sick with ego and lust and our society as a broken free for all a mad eyed unjust circus…and that’s what the Tory wants…Carrot town with also rans of misery in every other door way…

I’ve seen it with my own eyes and it works better than the miserable bollocks Mrs May is offering in her tasteless leather trousers on behalf of her millionaire crony’s…and if she expects me to sit back and except this filthy rigged game run like a post code lottery, for my children and grand children, for these islands and tribes I love then she can dream on..I’ll fight it to my last dying breath with every possible method at my disposal and if you are not happy with the society the culture she’s offering to your family to your people, that odious cosmetic liar thief, then you should fight it too and vote her and her henchmen to oblivion come June.

They are the villagers
a torch wielding mob
they march up to the castle
and elect the fucking knob

They are the villagers
a banal bovine barrage
they like the queen and Simon cowl
and Nigel fucking forage

You are a villager
your head is full of sticks
You are not a free man
you are number six

They’ve never left the village
where life is simple, steady
don’t tell the villagers
They’re dead already

Empty hearted inbreeds
who hold the whole race back
stared out the window in their class
and the village stared right back

Ignore the mobile library
It’s for nans and gays
I’d rather play a shoot em up
and I can’t read anyway

They stay in their hovels
on a diet of porn and pot
and vote for the tories
and the land that time forgot.

Brent Jackson.

Oh dear oh dear what times…a safe Labour seat falls to the Millionaire business feks and their zombie legion…even a spectacular tail spin by UKCrap cannot cheer me..

Have to be honest and realistic, many, many, good hearted lefties, some I like and admire are just not having Corbin…and it’s starting to feel like the media propaganda attack on poor old Jez has worked, and we simply can’t get even slightly left of centre without those who just can’t and don’t ‘believe’ in him..

And there’s nobody else who looks like they can attract them…

I’ve been a little guilty of wishing more people had been to Scandinavia, had stayed away from the mainstream news and hell, logged off and read a bit…starting to see it as an elitist folly to some extent, losing hope that people will suddenly wake up and be sickened by the business before community, ‘Great’ British sell off.

It gets worse when you realise you’re wishing Jezza could do a ‘Trump’ and really tear into the opposition, they seem such easy targets…so self evidently materialist and self serving…but sadly, the very qualities that make him a decent human being refusing to join the dog and pony show at the house of con men, are the same that stop him attracting the populist vote.

It’d death by thrilling irony as the NHS goes private before our eyes and the jaded except the dog eat dog world theme park Britannia…I’m chewing the desk here in frustration as the healers and educators the non materialists are swept aside like incompetent henchmen in those clichéd film/games who cannot shoot or punch you but are just there to die and keep you playing..
2000 years later and still praying for salvation, still stained by that stupid Hollywood conceit that drives every other movie, One man against the mob/world/corporation, you know that plot that never EVER happened in real life….still wishing for a Cinderella twist.

Dark visions plague me again and I hear the voice of my granddad a communist who wasn’t having the Tory ‘vermin’ whatsoever and couldn’t walk past an underdog for trying…a pillar of the community who had no enemies where he lived…(and a fine piano sing song leader too apropos of fuck all) and He’s saying..’Wishing you had wheels will not get you bus fare’
‘Rise!’ called a wavering tired sounding voice of defiance.

For Gilly. O2/24/2017

The posh thinkers, The libertarians, even on the left,
are doing what they’ve always done,
throughout history..
patronising and dismissing the common man with their floral guess work.
They are experts on nothing except looking different, superior,
They have built nothing except their phoney fairy tale selves.
They have studied nothing and researched little properly,
that supports their highly individualist opinions
Such striving is for workers and specialists..and both are of course
completely alien to these shape throwing self obsessed poseurs who
Know nothing of the struggle of the lower and under class
or the dedication of the specialists they’ve produced against the odds.

You know who they are
They have spent this year Kicking and slandering a decent man.
Smug in their view oft their disconnected elevated opinions.
I don’t need them to think for me, Do you?
See, while those attracted to the decent man fret about the deal for the young the sick,
About the hopeless tone of life in the toxic, immoral, dog eat dog food fight of free market capitalism
These clowns concern themselves with rebranding the same old slanders and pseudo mystical nonsense they have always used at any hint at an increase in collectivism..
They have used the same bollix since Stalin..because of course Mao and Pol pot and arthur scargil have discredited socialism forever..
Just as Cortez, Hitler, Genghis Khan,Thatcher and the pope have proven unrestricted expansionism and aquisition are just DANDY!
It’s comic.
Look they’re having a competition a BEANO!
Strive for glitz and glory half a kilometre from the Grinding poverty on the site of Western genocide..
Talking about, scorning the flaws in systems is fun aint it?
A great game.
I’m going for gold me like…
For clever talkers what fun!
(it’s better than working)
The trumpers..the balls out yank capitalists are particularly tragic comic aint they?
Listen to them claim their system, which is marinated in old European cynical desperation (Can you hear that hopeless tone?)
..their system is the best..Built entirely on the destruction of the indigenous folk (the Holywood holocaust that’s not so fashionable anymore)
The work done by slaves from another holocaust (still quite fashionable)
Their system is the best
Despite the Atomic bombs
The glamorisation of greed and exploitation of violence and theft
The objectifying sexed up glitter of it all…
Right Left Theo, Auto Merit ocratic all these flavours
have an obvious thing in common a child could see
That’s right a small shadowy elite with all the power and wealth
Talking bollocks whilst holding The Herd, The Sheeple…You.In utter contempt.
Watch you struggle
Disadvantaged and disunited by their rigged cheat game..
They laugh and gorge.
Look! (and try to believe your eyes)
They are happy to have one child eat all the food…
Have all the freedom..
Whilst the others fight among themselves.
To the dim numb death..
Sociopathic narcissi? Psychos?

My family is a collective.
Natural as thunder and lightning and far more annoying.
My children share and support or else.
Granddaughters equal to sons
Each gets the same support, love, dinner..

Talking about the flaws in systems is fun.
A great game.
Fixing the flaws
Fighting the bullshit
Demanding justice
(look at your babies)
Your old nan..
In this hollow cold competition
Is that a great game..
I confess I’m still revolting..

Subsequent to yesterdays epiphany (see last blog) and struggling with ye olde ill health as I am and subsequent also to staying up late faintly deranged by the meds editing the new Arnie Slipshod Tubecast..I woke and had to go around the corner to the little deserted shop in Ashington Gardens past the Old peoples death camp on the corner of Round hay avenue and Downlands way which some bean counter in a cupboard decided to call Downlands given the choice of ’round’ or ‘down’ this kafka fan went for ‘down’
Round being presumably too indicative of reincarnation and down being the brutal old boy sat outside defiantly smoking and I called to him “I hope that’s a spliff!”
“I wish!” he called back precipitating a serious coughing symphony..downing the corner into roundlands way I noticed a local wit had sprayed “Old Cunts” on the fence down the side..”Old Cunts court” it is then..clearly a superior name.
I have had some experience of the geriatric nursing world (via acquaintances in the ‘profession’) and therefore know that they are simply packed with interesting and demented characters who rarely receive visitors..
This is of course is but one of many indicators of just how bonkers and doomed the human race is..People are just not prepared to face the reality of collapse and death, the mess and tragedy of it all..the tribe and family (particularly in the first world of course) is retreating into Sim world at a rapid rate. In the interest of slight balance my own mother refused the idea of living with her children and opted for an early stroke in an underfunded and demoralised NHS hospital corrugated hut instead.
The other indication of our impending doom is doubtless the mobile phone..apart from the obvious anti social thumb twitching junky element there’s the matter of power you charge the damn thing until it says 100% then switch to standby/inert and leave it an hour in which it does nothing not even lighting up inexplicably and it will say 82% even entirely un used..I’ve done a short shoddy survey and this is the norm..imagine the power wastage across the nation and the world…imagine also the profit to the dark lords of the power supply bastards of oblivion.
There will be plenty of ‘rockstar’ anecdotes in subsequent segments including unflinching inside stories on The Late Road Lunatics, How I beat The fatlord as a Union activist and the adventures of a fame dodging creative who refused the money.
There you go that’s the first instalment of ‘The memoirs of a has been who never was’ (which now i’m assured I’ll never make it to old cunts court) I am resolved to write in easily digestible bite sized parts and post here on the criminally ignored, blog of ‘the funniest nobody in the universe’.. a title I bestowed upon myself just now..because. I think you should definitely consider commenting on the ‘episodes’ as they occur, as the funniest, stupidest and rudest will be included in the final master work..which will bestow upon you a kind of immortality as it will obviously be, one day regarded as superior to all other works of literature..ever..anywhere…I’ll be looking out for those who pretend to like and admire me and if they don’t appear the consequences will be frankly negligible..but I will know you couldn’t be bothered and of course it will mean you can prove you read it originally when not having read it will be regarded by future generations as a certain indicator of tastelessness and ignorance of herculean proportions..which to be honest I wrote purely from the desire to include the word ‘herculean’ on a whim.


Brent (Arnie slipshod, the Flawless blade) Jackson
Peacehaven early feb 2017.

I’ve had a major epiphany..regarding thee ultimate maligned minority..
Those poor friendless abandoned billionaires..imagine being a platinum plated loner, the innocent offspring of the power mad grasping greed-bots…brought up indoctrinated with unhinged materialist entitlement..great mothers I weep for them, the saddest, numbest, life forms in the known universe…disconnected from reality and imprisoned in a glittering mink lined desolate wonder they want to punish everyone else..
We have love and tribe and struggle…they have everything always..I’ve been so wrong about them for so long..they are the most wretched and spiritually deprived lifeforms ever anywhere..more heart breaking than a three legged puppy drop kicked into a cesspit by a robot sea cucumber..
My new Buddhist/animist ancestor worship faith has really opened my eyes folks..we are not the suffering victims they are… Now i’m no longer a revolutionary satirist/comedian you’ll probably think i’m funnier..and you’d be wonder Siddhartha Gautama never stopped chuckling…enlightenment is hilarious…
Love to all without exception and spirit in all things..
Still never trust a dog with orange eyebrows tho’
Peacehaven. 02/05/20-summink..

The only way to end tyranny is to educate.

Countries and races are a the research..we’re all one literally..not a dewy eyed liberal dream but historical and biological fact..The flags the ‘cultures, the divisions that lead to wars’ are a childish embarrassment perpetuated by vested interest on the make..if you’re evolved and open minded you’ll go and look..then throw down your stupid phony allegiances and get on with returning to and living in paradise…

Stop being ignorant backward fear bots and look into the history, of India and the Phoenicians…

Stop making infantile excuses and believing pathetic lies.. .

Peel of your moronic labels and we can build the world our children deserve…

This is the paragraph I was born to form. I’m done now and can add no more.

Good luck & let love rule

This place is a circus for the insane..

I’m sat here with Brent Jackson and Andy Coupar.
The Firedog poetry in chief whose tongue they call the ‘Flawless blade’

and his long time musical collaborator called mainly ‘Coup’
Jacko is reading something over an earlier Firedogs jam…the overall effect being JCC and PIL mutating exile on main street…
Coup is layering in a guitar whine that’s almost certainly disturbing local pets equilibrium..
*mutters darkly*
“I got no shangri la to head for someday
Just notebook raving- nameless craving- and a sofa to crash on till Sunday.
The rebel rock curse in my bad blood runs black..
It pulled me from the factory farm and i’m never going back
I am the dirty road now you cannot folla
This is my fate now my slave holler
no more hollow competition that brainless game
This place is a circus for the insane..

*Howls like a dangerous lunatic making everyone jump*


6.26 AM.

The aforementioned machine fires up outside the game begins again.
Andy Coupar a musical assassin and outsider goes to bed.
The dawn chorus laughs.
The Firedogs are recording their opus and Rebel Rock lives.
Johnny Someone.


Yeah, so… The Firedogs. What’s to say?

They’ve been around. Seen a thing or two.

Chasing cars, as dogs do.

Gone briefly, but back again;

now renewed.

The old new black.

The old, now back.



Lord knows what the bald one at the front is saying, but he yodels with conviction;

The bass is deliciously chunky and goes down smooth;

The guitar whines and screams and crackles

like the spawn of caged lightning and some cackling vixen;

and the drums, oh, the drums…

It’s all there mate. The real McCoy.

As good on stage as it is in the booth.


Thirty odd years in the making;

Grown near London town

but brewed elsewhere;

aged to perfection

in an oak cask

down by Brighton.

Fancy a drop?

Well, by all means,

so long as you savour the flavour

and aren’t easily frightened:


The back of the bottle recommends you drink the whole lot –

in through the ear-hole and prepare for a shock.


These ain’t your nan’s dogs.

Your old dogs.

Your sold dogs.

Your capitalist fat gods.


Dogs will be dogs – or no, not quite.


These are the Late Road –

Wait that’s not right…


These are The Firedogs

and be warned:


They bite.


OMG The young are coming and they want social justice and fairness in society! Quick everyone refer to ‘The militant tendency and Mao and Stalin..and Sauron and Doctor Robotnic..FACE BACKWARDS AND POUR CYNICISM ON THEIR INNOCENT ENTHUSIASM FOR A JUST WORLD! SHIELDS UP RED ALERT…QUICK REMIND THEM ITS POINTLESS AS ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE SELFISH SCUM WHO SECRETLY HATE EVERYONE…
Really the shit these balloon headed old guard apologist spout…painting Jeremy and all his followers as buffoons…to allay their panic regarding their privileged lifestyles…New popular socialism..driven by the young and similar to the Scandinavian model?
High tax for health and education and housing? Haha there you go…there’s the rub…If the young decide that level of self sacrifice is how decent people, tribal family people should behave, and that’s how you get a fairer society then the tax avoiding I’m alright Jack, Trump merchants (who obviously think the common tax payers an idiot)…can go live in the land of the free for all…if you agree please’s important we see more of the elite cack themselves and spout more comedy dribble…keeps me amused children…Bullshit detectors to stun!